The pain was excruciating.

I had been doubled over for hours, pressing my knees into my stomach just to breathe through it. It wasn’t new—this was my life. Pain that would come and go, with no answers, no relief.

But this time was different.

I wasn’t alone. My fiancé was with me, and while I had spent years learning to cope, he had never seen anything like this. The panic on his face made me wonder—Was this worse than usual? Was something really wrong?

After six hours of watching me suffer, he insisted we go to the ER. I wanted to fight him on it—I had been here before, and the doctors never had answers. But deep down, I still had hope. Maybe this time would be different.

The Moment That Broke Me & I Lost All Hope of Healing

The hospital ran tests. Hooked me up to an IV. Ordered an MRI. For the first time in years, I felt seen. Heard. Maybe this doctor would take me seriously.

Then he walked into the room, looked me straight in the eyes, and said the words that crushed me.

“You’re full of sh!t.”

And he laughed.

I wish I could say I stood up for myself. That I had demanded answers. That I knew my worth and my truth. But I didn’t. I sat there as the last bit of hope drained from my body.

I had spent years battling this pain, only to be laughed at. And when I got home, still hurting, still sick, my fiancé joined in on the joke. Every time I had an episode after that, he’d say, “You must be full of sh!t again.”

Eventually, I started to believe it.

Losing Myself in the Struggle

I spent the next several years trying to survive. The pain continued. My body kept breaking down—hair falling out, heart racing, weight fluctuating, exhaustion beyond words. I had doctor after doctor tell me it was in my head. That I was anxious. Depressed. If I just tried harder—took this medication, lost weight, calmed down—it would go away.

I started to believe them, too.

I lost myself in the labels. The misdiagnoses. The constant feeling that I was failing.

Then one day, after years of suffering, I finally got an answer.

Celiac Disease.

One simple test. One doctor who finally ran the right labs. After decades of pain, misdiagnoses, and people telling me it was all in my head—there it was. A real, tangible answer.

But instead of relief, I felt something unexpected.

Grief.

I grieved all the years lost. The laughter at my expense. The doctors who dismissed me. The suffering that could have been prevented. I wondered how different my life could have been if someone had caught it sooner. If someone had listened.

But then, I started to see what God had been doing all along.

God Was There the Whole Time

I used to think healing was just about finding the right answer. That once I had a diagnosis, everything would change. But healing—real healing—is so much more than that.

It’s about trusting that God has a plan, even when we can’t see it.

It’s about realizing that our pain isn’t wasted, even when it feels unbearable.

It’s about knowing that the struggle doesn’t mean we’re broken—it means we’re being shaped for something greater.

Would I have taken my diagnosis seriously if I had been told as a child? Probably not. But when I finally got my answer, I was ready. I had nothing left to cling to except the hope of healing.

And God used that.

I started learning everything I could. I found people who understood. I stopped listening to the doctors who dismissed me and started advocating for myself. And now, I get to help other women do the same.

Your Pain Has Purpose—Even When You Can’t See It Yet

Friend, if you’re in the middle of the struggle—if you feel unheard, unseen, or stuck in suffering with no way forward—I want you to know this:

You are not crazy. You are not alone. And your pain is not wasted. There is hope of healing.

There is a path forward. Even when the answers don’t come right away. Even when people don’t believe you. Even when you’re exhausted and ready to give up—God is not done with your story.

You deserve to be heard. You deserve healing. God wants you healed and whole. And I want to help you get there.

If you’re still searching for answers, I would love to walk this journey with you. Whether you need guidance, prayer, or just someone to listen—I’m here.

Because healing starts with knowing you are worth fighting for.

Let’s find your way forward together.

Need support? Let’s connect.

Other Posts To Give You Hope of Healing

The Healing Journey to Self Forgiveness

Ressurection Hope

Finding Your Identity In Christ

Trusting God: From Hope to Faith to Trust in Your God-Given Calling